This seems like a "well, yeah...duh" moment but really it's not. Things don't tend to happen unless you do something to change your behaviour, your outlook on life... you. Sure, a few people will win the lottery but most of us have to change ourselves to improve our lot, our happiness, in life.
If I look at my life as objectively as I can, I can see all the things that have gone wrong, things that have failed, and I am the common denominator. Yeah, some things were plain bad luck but other things? Other things were sheer idiocy, a measure of naivete, a lack of understanding of my own self-worth and an unhealthy dose of stubbornness. I can out-stubborn most people, if I put my mind to it. :S
I find that so many people wander around totally oblivious to the destruction they wreak upon themselves and the lives around them. If things are habitually going wrong for you, you need to take a look in the mirror and decide what responsibility you have in the whole mess. I highly recommend counseling. I sought counseling a few years ago after a very emotionally destructive period of my life. It's not easy to have to look yourself in the eye and be honest with yourself. Most people won't do it: it's hard, it's painful and it takes a LONG time to see the patterns in one's behavior that led to one's own demise, so to speak.
At this point, I think most people could use some counseling. We're all kind of screwed up in some way or another - some of us more than others. And there's really no excuse not to take a look at one's behavior and say, like a certain tv psychologist does, "How's that workin' for ya?" Someone said the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result. So by this particular definition, I think there are a LOT of troubled people out there.
So for this New Year, 2011, I want to wish everyone good mental health. And I want to share my yearly list of what I have learned in the past year - oh joy, you're thinking :) but here goes (and yes, a lot of these are cliches but they're known for a reason):
- Just because something is difficult is no reason not to try
- Never say never
- Stop whining and just do it
- Live with intention
- Walk to the edge and look into the abyss
- Listen well
- Never stop learning
- Play with abandon
- Laugh until your sides hurt and tears run down your face
- Cry your heart out if you feel like it
- Do what you love
- Black Rat snakes have very cool and smooth skin and if I didn't object to feeding a snake a poor, terrified mouse once a week, I would get one
- Don't let the bastards get you down - there's no reason not to have fun - annoys the bastards :)
- I can be my own worst enemy, my own worst critic, and I have to stop that kind of thinking in its tracks
- I am my own best champion
- Trusting my gut instincts is the ONLY way to go - whenever I have doubted my gut and gone with my head, everything goes sideways
- Being obstinate is different than being determined - obstinate gets me into trouble, determination gets me ahead
- And the last one is a quote by Mary Ann Radmacher: "Courage doesn't always roar, Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”
Much Love to You,